Official site of one gray cat

Gray coat. Amber eyes. Zero interest in your schedule.

This is where Smokey keeps her records: who she is, what she eats, where she sleeps, and which of your belongings she has moved. Updated whenever she allows it.

About

The short version

Smokey is a solid gray cat. No stripes, no patches, just an even slate coat that looks blue in the shade and silver by the window.

She runs the house on a fixed routine. Breakfast comes first, then a patrol of every room, then a long nap in whichever patch of sun is currently best. Dinner is not negotiable and neither is the time.

She tolerates visitors, approves of a few, and will sit on the lap of the one person who does not like cats. Nobody has figured out how she picks.

File card

Smokey, by the numbers

Everything here has been checked against the cat. Disputes can go through the form at the bottom of the page.

NameSmokey
CoatSolid gray, short hair
EyesAmber
BirthdayMarch 14 (approximate, she will not confirm)
Favorite spotThe windowsill, 1 to 4 p.m.
DinnerWet food, 5:30 sharp
Sleep per dayAbout 16 hours
Known forPushing cups off tables

Schedule

A normal day for Smokey

  1. Wake-up call

    Stands on the nearest person until someone gets up and fills the bowl.

    Loud
  2. Room inspection

    Walks every room, checks every corner, finds nothing wrong. Repeats tomorrow.

    Routine
  3. Window shift

    Sun, birds, long nap. Do not disturb unless there is food involved.

    Do not disturb
  4. Dinner

    Arrives at the bowl at 5:25 and waits with visible patience.

    Fixed
  5. Zoomies

    Ten minutes of sprinting through the hallway for no stated reason.

    Unannounced
  6. Lights out

    Takes the left side of the bed. Owner takes what is left.

    Final

Preferences

What works and what does not

Approved

  • Cardboard boxes. Any size. If she fits, she sits.
  • Warm laundry. Straight out of the dryer.
  • Slow blinks. Return one and you are in good standing.
  • Crunchy treats. Shake the bag from another room.

Not approved

  • Closed doors. She will complain until it opens.
  • The vacuum. She leaves the building.
  • Late dinner. Even five minutes gets noticed.
  • Belly rubs. It looks like an invitation. It is not.

Photos

Evidence

Candid shots, mostly taken while she was ignoring the camera. Swap the blocks below for real images.

Contact

Say hello to Smokey

Messages are read by her owner and passed along when she is in a good mood. Treats cannot be accepted by mail.

smokey@hamelton.net

Replace the form action with your handler before launch.